Rainy Friday

I am trying to keep myself thinking about the positives today. Since today is supposed to be my day off, yet I have to work this is going to be quite the challenge. But as I have said in an earlier post I will try to find a way to make this extra day of work better.

(time passes)

So it has been raining for two days and I can feel it in my bones. I really don't want to do anything. I feel like just laying in bed and forgetting today even happened. I am having a hard time keeping my spirits up these days. I miss seeing the people I love. I knew that I would be taking on alot at work and I even said I would take on a work week with one day off but the fact of the matter is I need some time to just unwind with those close to me. Sometime for those connections.

I was driving to work yesterday and I was listening to The Swell Season and I just started praying. I talk to God alot more these days even though some days I don't feel like I do it right. I pray for guidance and peace of mind mostly these days. I pray for love. I was listening to this sermon the other day and the pastor said "one of the greatest things about being a pastor is you get to fall in love everyday but that one of the worst is that you get to fall in love everyday. I am beginning to see that kind of love in my own life. I want to understand. My mother knows that these past few months have been hard on me. She tells me to stop listening to everything that is wrong with the world and listen to music that has some hope to it. The thong about that is thought is that I have seen and read and know so much that in my heart I cannot just pretend that it doesn't exist anymore. I want to do my part in making the world just a little better. Making life "on earth as it is in heaven" if you will.

That is another thing that has been bothering me is the fact that in my heart I want to do all of this and feel like I need to do this but I am trying to get my head on board. My head is a bit fearful. My head is apprehensive. My head doesn't want my heart to ache any worse...but my heart thinks it can manage.

I don't know. That is beautiful I think, the fact that I don't know. What do I knoiw for sure is that I need to do something with my life because at the moment there is just far too much going on in my life that is not productive.

So in other news I found a new place where I plan to buy all of my books. I found this website online called Bette World Books profits from sales go to all sorts of charities. I am pretty sure they have stolen me from Barnes and Noble.

Anyway I have to go finish getting ready. I hope you all have a good rainy evening, or a good non-rainy evening...wherever you are.

I send my love, everyday.