Thursday, April 29, 2010
4/29/2010
This is a song that is on repeat in my head today. The band is called Gungor and they are the most epic of epic. Just listen, you wont regret it.
Sorry that I havent posted anything in a very long time, there has been alot going on and even thought I am usually at full disclosure on here, I have felt like keeping most of it to my journal and a few close friends and my parents. Life is making some big changes in me and right now I feel liek I am being dragged through the mud emotionally....but it will all be good. God is love, and I am love and I have faith that he is leading me where I am supposed to be.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
April 18, 2010
John Elderidge says just to listen and God will answer your questions.
..and all I hear is a self aware version of my self saying, "We got this Robby, it is all going to be okay. Im there."
So, I am just going to...trust and pray. Cause if he opens doors, I will take care of the legwork.
...i just wish I understood more.
..and all I hear is a self aware version of my self saying, "We got this Robby, it is all going to be okay. Im there."
So, I am just going to...trust and pray. Cause if he opens doors, I will take care of the legwork.
...i just wish I understood more.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Quote of the Day
So this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I am trying to figure out how that could be.
The Perks of Being A Wallflower
The Perks of Being A Wallflower
Monday, March 29, 2010
My first Bible verse I am committing to memory...
Psalm 139
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Here it is read by Amena Brown
Im kind of loving her today.
Love you guys like its going out of style.
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Here it is read by Amena Brown
Im kind of loving her today.
Love you guys like its going out of style.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
March 28, 2010
So I learned a very valuable lesson today. The fact that if you work a friendship just right, it does not matter what you do you can just slip right back into it. Almost as if you just saw each other the other day and it had been months.
It is beautiful knowing friendships like that exhist.
It is beautiful knowing friendships like that exhist.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
March 25, 2010
A lesson in Gratitude-
So...you know there are those times when you realize things about yourself that you know have been there for way too long and you are really surprised (and quite possibly a bit ashamed) that it went on as long as it has and you did not address it.
Well my lovely readers, I would like to present the case that I am not someone who takes moments to realize that even though I tend to hit melancholy pretty easily there are things in my life that are "hella-good" and I would like to take the time to address them, if I may, be they trivial or serious.
Friends-
Ashley-My friend, we knew we would be fast friends when way long ago I was wearing a black W.W.J.D. bracelet and you said "who wants jack daniels?" and I said "Let's be friends." but beyond that you have always been the person who will hold that mirror to my face and say "look". Thanks for keeping me real. Thanks for keeping me looking fresh too (even when I dont want to be) forealsies
Katie-I could devote an entire book to you my darling. I am thankful for my life being quite different because of you, and I am thankful for enough stories to use as life lessons for our kids that I will need on a wide array of topics :). Favorites for life.
Beth-Just thank you for being you. I need more of you in my life.
Jacob-Thank you for listening and giving your thoughts on my ideas. I also need more of you in my life.
Robin-I still cannot believe you liked Mirrors. And Im glad that even though we dont agree on much we still can be friends. Also, Alisan Porter to Matrix....go
I am thankful for:
-Finding my faith again.
-Dogs- Current and future and all in between.
-The bunny rabbit party I totally busted up in my driveway when I was coming home from work.
-A cool brother.
-A loving family.
-Zooey Deschanel.
-Rob Bell.
-The Smiths.
-Nelson Mandella.
-President Barack Obama.
-Love.
-Hope.
-Construction paper. (you would have to see the walls around my house to get that one.
-Bible Study.
-Good food.
-NPR
-PBR
-Christian Radio
...and many more things.
Well on that note I am going to go read and go to bed.
Keep it real kids.
Love you.
So...you know there are those times when you realize things about yourself that you know have been there for way too long and you are really surprised (and quite possibly a bit ashamed) that it went on as long as it has and you did not address it.
Well my lovely readers, I would like to present the case that I am not someone who takes moments to realize that even though I tend to hit melancholy pretty easily there are things in my life that are "hella-good" and I would like to take the time to address them, if I may, be they trivial or serious.
Friends-
Ashley-My friend, we knew we would be fast friends when way long ago I was wearing a black W.W.J.D. bracelet and you said "who wants jack daniels?" and I said "Let's be friends." but beyond that you have always been the person who will hold that mirror to my face and say "look". Thanks for keeping me real. Thanks for keeping me looking fresh too (even when I dont want to be) forealsies
Katie-I could devote an entire book to you my darling. I am thankful for my life being quite different because of you, and I am thankful for enough stories to use as life lessons for our kids that I will need on a wide array of topics :). Favorites for life.
Beth-Just thank you for being you. I need more of you in my life.
Jacob-Thank you for listening and giving your thoughts on my ideas. I also need more of you in my life.
Robin-I still cannot believe you liked Mirrors. And Im glad that even though we dont agree on much we still can be friends. Also, Alisan Porter to Matrix....go
I am thankful for:
-Finding my faith again.
-Dogs- Current and future and all in between.
-The bunny rabbit party I totally busted up in my driveway when I was coming home from work.
-A cool brother.
-A loving family.
-Zooey Deschanel.
-Rob Bell.
-The Smiths.
-Nelson Mandella.
-President Barack Obama.
-Love.
-Hope.
-Construction paper. (you would have to see the walls around my house to get that one.
-Bible Study.
-Good food.
-NPR
-PBR
-Christian Radio
...and many more things.
Well on that note I am going to go read and go to bed.
Keep it real kids.
Love you.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
March 23, 2010
So today I got really frustrated.
Yesterday at work some things where said to me and I went into work with my parents blessing as well as a full intention to turn in my two weeks notice.
I have just about had my fill.
I was texting with my mother, and I said to her "maybe I dream to big." and "why has my life turned out this way?"
her reply
"dreams and life dont happen you have to work for both"
...sometimes I feel totally blessed to have my mother as my mother. She also said I needed to "grow up and decide what I want and do it."
Which I think I am doing???
My problem is I am a dreamer that needs to put in the legwork. I also have realized that I am the kind of person that puts my needs behind others, something that can be a good thing but seems like moreso gets abused.
I guess I just have little faith in myself.
So hear is a thought, as a Christian should I take my same mustard seed faith and apply it to my way in a form of radical self love? Keeping God and People first but reaching even further to love myself a little too?
...I don't think this is wrong but I am going to look into it a little bit more.
So I have been listening to Christian radio a lot more lately and I hear this song by the Sidewalk Prophets that I thought I would share:
The Words I Would Say:
Three in the morning,
And I'm still awake,
So I picked up a pen and a page,
And I started writing,
Just what I'd say,
If we were face to face,
I'd tell you just what you mean to me,
I'd tell you these simple truths,
Be strong in the LORD and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,
Last time we spoke,
You said you were hurting,
And I felt your pain in my heart,
I want to tell you,
That I keep on praying,
Love will find you where you are,
I know cause I've already been there,
So please hear these simple truths,
Be strong in the LORD and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,
From one simple life to another,
I will say,
Come find peace in the Father,
Be strong in the LORD and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
Thank God for each day,
His love will find a way,
These are the words I would say
I cry everytime I hear that song.
Yesterday at work some things where said to me and I went into work with my parents blessing as well as a full intention to turn in my two weeks notice.
I have just about had my fill.
I was texting with my mother, and I said to her "maybe I dream to big." and "why has my life turned out this way?"
her reply
"dreams and life dont happen you have to work for both"
...sometimes I feel totally blessed to have my mother as my mother. She also said I needed to "grow up and decide what I want and do it."
Which I think I am doing???
My problem is I am a dreamer that needs to put in the legwork. I also have realized that I am the kind of person that puts my needs behind others, something that can be a good thing but seems like moreso gets abused.
I guess I just have little faith in myself.
So hear is a thought, as a Christian should I take my same mustard seed faith and apply it to my way in a form of radical self love? Keeping God and People first but reaching even further to love myself a little too?
...I don't think this is wrong but I am going to look into it a little bit more.
So I have been listening to Christian radio a lot more lately and I hear this song by the Sidewalk Prophets that I thought I would share:
The Words I Would Say:
Three in the morning,
And I'm still awake,
So I picked up a pen and a page,
And I started writing,
Just what I'd say,
If we were face to face,
I'd tell you just what you mean to me,
I'd tell you these simple truths,
Be strong in the LORD and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,
Last time we spoke,
You said you were hurting,
And I felt your pain in my heart,
I want to tell you,
That I keep on praying,
Love will find you where you are,
I know cause I've already been there,
So please hear these simple truths,
Be strong in the LORD and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,
From one simple life to another,
I will say,
Come find peace in the Father,
Be strong in the LORD and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
Thank God for each day,
His love will find a way,
These are the words I would say
I cry everytime I hear that song.
March 22, 2010
So yesterday was a fun day. Ashley and I got to go on a wild rainy foggy adventure to Asheville N.C. where she got to try on fun clothes and we ate A LOT of really good food.
Today was different though. Today I spent most of the day crying, and I don't know why. I was cold and tired all day.
Mom says it is because I don't rest, and that I have lost my effort to make an effort. Maybe she's right.
Listening to:
Today was different though. Today I spent most of the day crying, and I don't know why. I was cold and tired all day.
Mom says it is because I don't rest, and that I have lost my effort to make an effort. Maybe she's right.
Listening to:
Friday, March 19, 2010
NeedtoBreathe - Washed By The Water
Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water
Daddy was a preacher
She was his wife
Just tryin to make the world a little better
You know, shine a light
People started talking
Trying to hear their own voice
Those people tried to accuse my father
Said he made the wrong choice
Though it might be painful
You know that time will always tell
Those people have long since gone
My father never failed
Even if the Earth crumbles under my feet
Even if the ones I love turn around and crucify me
I won’t never ever let you down
I won’t fall
I won’t fall
I won’t fall as long as you’re around me
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water
Daddy was a preacher
She was his wife
Just tryin to make the world a little better
You know, shine a light
People started talking
Trying to hear their own voice
Those people tried to accuse my father
Said he made the wrong choice
Though it might be painful
You know that time will always tell
Those people have long since gone
My father never failed
Even if the Earth crumbles under my feet
Even if the ones I love turn around and crucify me
I won’t never ever let you down
I won’t fall
I won’t fall
I won’t fall as long as you’re around me
Sunday, March 14, 2010
March 14, 2010
So, if you are looking for an action movie that put you on the edge of your seat waiting for what happens next than I totally reccomend wanted to you. Wanted is the story of a man whose daughter is taken by mobsters (if you will) for sex trafficing...and he goes to find her. It is a good movie. But that is not what this blog is about...
...This blog is about things that have happened to me in the past when I was in Europe and being approached by girls and not knowing the severity of what could have or was happening to them. This movie brought back all of that and has filled my head with these girls that I had some how forgotten these girls who God only knows what has happened to them. These girls are what consumes me tonight.
I am tearing up just thinking about this and full of rage that I didnt know I could have. I am mad at myself for not praying for these girls, mad at myself for forgetting them.
.....how do we do this to each other???.....
I really dont have anything else to say, except I love you. I love them. But I wish we where all better.
God Bless.
...This blog is about things that have happened to me in the past when I was in Europe and being approached by girls and not knowing the severity of what could have or was happening to them. This movie brought back all of that and has filled my head with these girls that I had some how forgotten these girls who God only knows what has happened to them. These girls are what consumes me tonight.
I am tearing up just thinking about this and full of rage that I didnt know I could have. I am mad at myself for not praying for these girls, mad at myself for forgetting them.
.....how do we do this to each other???.....
I really dont have anything else to say, except I love you. I love them. But I wish we where all better.
God Bless.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
March 13, 2010
So I haven't wrote in awhile. Not because I have not wanted too, but just because some of...well most of the things that have been going on are either really personal and would take an epic amount of courage to put out there for everyone to read or just not anything that would be interesting.
So wahs going on in my life at the moment.
I shaved my own head, I started out just saying that it was out of a desire to not spend money but really I think it was something much deeper. A testiment to make myself bare of everything that can hide me. It's still not perfect and its got some choppy parts but the longer I keep it that way the more I am in love with it. Who am I trying to impress anyway?...
So wahs going on in my life at the moment.
I shaved my own head, I started out just saying that it was out of a desire to not spend money but really I think it was something much deeper. A testiment to make myself bare of everything that can hide me. It's still not perfect and its got some choppy parts but the longer I keep it that way the more I am in love with it. Who am I trying to impress anyway?...
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
ASHLEY MARIE
you and me.
we need to get together and go vintage shopping..and talk about how silly it would be to won 365 perfumes...
....lets make this happen, cause I miss you
Love
Robby
we need to get together and go vintage shopping..and talk about how silly it would be to won 365 perfumes...
....lets make this happen, cause I miss you
Love
Robby
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
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