March 14, 2010

So, if you are looking for an action movie that put you on the edge of your seat waiting for what happens next than I totally reccomend wanted to you. Wanted is the story of a man whose daughter is taken by mobsters (if you will) for sex trafficing...and he goes to find her. It is a good movie. But that is not what this blog is about...

...This blog is about things that have happened to me in the past when I was in Europe and being approached by girls and not knowing the severity of what could have or was happening to them. This movie brought back all of that and has filled my head with these girls that I had some how forgotten these girls who God only knows what has happened to them. These girls are what consumes me tonight.

I am tearing up just thinking about this and full of rage that I didnt know I could have. I am mad at myself for not praying for these girls, mad at myself for forgetting them.

.....how do we do this to each other???.....

I really dont have anything else to say, except I love you. I love them. But I wish we where all better.

God Bless.

Music...

All can be found on lala here. I ♥ lala!

A blog loved is a blog stolen

I just read this quote posted by one of my very best friends Ashley Marie. You can find her here.

I chose a different picture of her though.

Love you Ashley Marie.

...

Today has just been a day. I feel like everywhere I turn there is something beging thrown at me about Haiti and I did my part I donated money to the Red Cross and I have prayed...but the negativity that has come out of this just makes me sick. All I want to do is send love out to the Haitians and take them with me as I go throughout the day and just, I weep for them.

And for someone to say they got what they deserve is simply a horrendous thing to say, and Pat Robertson...you will go to heaven, but according to Jesus, you wont play in my sandbox.

I still dont feel like I have done enough, I want to just be used somehow do something physical. Donate blood or something.

Im restless.

Last night a DJ saved my life....

Plato said “Music and rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul” in my journey into this realm of my being I have found that my ipod and music have become somewhat of a constant companion to me in those hours when I am not quite myself. When it is late and I am alone and there is no on else around, I put on a record and try to float away into a world where I feel at peace.

To say that depression is overwhelming is somewhat of a misnomer. I have my good days and I have days that what I feel is so hard to describe. I think that the best way to describe it would just be as if I was slowly dissolving into this other darker being. When I get like this I am often my own worst enemy. This is when I have to fight the hardest and my troups these days are my journal, my books, and my music. Music has become my warriors, I have already talked of my love of Trevor Hall but I want to talk some of the other people who I am listening to.

Matisyahu -



One Day

sometimes I lay
under the moon
and thank God I'm breathing
then I pray
don't take me soon
cause I am here for a reason
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
because
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
it's not about
win or lose
we all lose
when they feed on the souls of the innocent
blood drenched pavement
keep on moving though the waters stay raging
in this maze you can lose your way (your way)
it might drive you crazy but don't let it faze you no way (no way)
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
because
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
one day this all will change
treat people the same
stop with the violence
down with the hate
one day we'll all be free
and proud to be
under the same sun
singing songs of freedom like
one day x4
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I could and do listen to this song like 4 times a day....

So if I could choose an older brother I would want someone like Matis. He just has this light about him and his new album Light is just...beautiful.

Quote:

"Basically it would just be neat to be in a relationship with someone who is as intensely crazy as I am. Who just becomes enamored with people. And the tiny details. I swoon over people in the most ridiculous way. I like all of the tiny details of people. When I am an ass over someone, I want to go back in time and punch people in the face for them. I want to run out to the store and get them ice cream at four in the morning because they can’t go to sleep and they feel like something rich. And when I get back to your place with a half gallon of ice cream and your ass is passed out with your mouth open, catching flies, I want to cover you up with blankets and make sure you have enough pillows. I’ll throw that ice cream in your freezer and go to sleep. I want you to tell me a story. I want to make this list of why I think you’re a neat human being."
—
Jenni